It’s been a while since my last blogpost. I think my mind rest somewhere or i did not find something interesting enough to be written or maybe i let all those thoughts disappear with time.
Today is the last day in 2016 and I am on my way back to Jakarta from Yogyakarta with Nauval, who vowed to be my life partner a week ago.
As a good friend of us had written our story, i feel flattered actually.. I think one story will not hurt anyone. :D
So we met in April 2015, if I’m not mistaken, I don’t remember the date. But I do remember the place, and who were involved there. What had happened between May 2015 and December 2016 are only important for us hahaha.
Probably what is important to be shared is why and how I made the decision to marry a person next to me.
I had met Nauval on March 2015 with Agung and Cinta. There was no follow up after the first meeting and I was very OK with that. Life was normal. Meanwhile, my Mom and her relations were eager to introduce me to some men. So they set up some meetings, et cetera. So my days went between photos of men and arguments to meet those strangers.
Last week of April 2015, I visited Mecca and Medina for Umrah. That was my second visit there. During that time, I have been in an emotional quest to know life better. I was fed up with all the questions to marry someone, of me being picky, of all the unnecessary attention to my love life. I was very arrogant and told my teacher that “Umrah will not get me a husband!”. I was ONLY relying on my efforts, I'd say now, I was too proud of myself.
The constant questions for late-20s women sometimes pissed me off. I was thinking to study abroad to upgrade my skill. But my mom kept saying “Yes, you can. But go with your husband”. How could I possibly do that?!
I know my stubborn behaviour had consumed my parents energy and I wanted nothing but their peace of mind. Whatever God’s will, I’ll try my best to learn and work on it. At that point, I just submit to God’s will, to help me choose between continuing study or building a family.
"Whoever or whatever came that is under Your will, please make it at ease. I am tired with my own emotional turbulence. I just wanted to find peace."
I kept thinking and humming about that wish.
I came back from Mecca and there was a second invitation to meet up in a group at Agung’s house, and there was Nauval as well. After the second meeting, we were more relax and open. I was very talkative while Nauval was always be in observing mode. Then, more meetings and whatsapp group chats with him. Then, private chats discussing caliphs, history, world trend, technology, badminton, and other serious stuffs.
My complexity of mind probably compatible with his.
Our spiritual view are aligned.
We walk in the same pace.
Our weirdness meet at some points.
He stays calm amidst my impulsive behaviour.
I feel that we can grow together.
So we decided to meet the family, then got married.
The process were smooth and often without me noticing.
This was the first time ever I involved my Dad to help me decided about my spouse. And it was Dad who helped me decide and supported my choice.
I think, as long as our intention is pure, the universe will conspire to help us.
To submit is a hard work, up until now. But I think, it is the ultimate recipe for life and I am grateful that there were chances for us to learn about the human vulnerability.
How lucky we are to deal with difficulties in finding one another, which in turn enable us to learn about life
If it is not by God’s will, I don’t think we will ever meet
I don’t think our two buddies would come up with the idea to introduce us to each other
I don’t think the story would be written, if it is not God who moves our heart, our thoughts, our chances
In the meantime,
How vulnerable we are in the season of time
between tears and laughters
between ache and healing
between desperation and hope
I am humbled by the chances that God has created for us
Let our love for God be the soil of our seeds